While being in relationship offers us many opportunities for growth and expansion, being single consciously is an amazing gateway for major life transformation. More so for those who have felt that their relationship choices weren’t always the healthiest.
Oftentimes there are negative feelings, beliefs or judgements that get in the way of the growth and transformative energy of being single. Sometimes these feelings belong to us but many times they come from some old societal expectation that everyone “should be” with someone whether they are happy or not. And of course there must be something wrong with you if you are single.
Then there are those times when we are in the middle of our grief from a past relationship and don’t feel like we should be talking about it anymore, or are have trouble validating our experience of loss and we question why we are still hurting or grieving.
Regardless of where you find yourself on the spectrum, single women typically feel like they should be looking for their next relationship as though being single was a problem that needed to get “fixed”.
So for me I needed to be single a very longtime so that I could begin to navigate through my life differently. It was extremely important for me to create values and an identity as a single person that allowed me to feel whole and complete without feeling like I was missing something. Now I love being in relationship, but I got to a place in my life where I wanted to be in relationship very differently than the way I had been in the past. This process of transformation for me was and is invaluable because not only was I healing many of my past experiences in relationship but I was also healing what felt for me like generations of dysfunctional family dynamics. I compare the experience to doing a home repair project where you begin thinking your going to replace the kitchen sink and sometimes realize that the whole kitchen needs to be gutted. I love what I find on the journey within. As clients often hear me say "What else could there possibly be to do?". This is our most important journey. May you peace and happiness on yours! Namaste